Friday Dad Jokes

Friday Dad Jokes 

• Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.


• What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!


• How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!


• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!


• What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!


• Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.


• How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.


• What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

 

Friday Jokes For Work 

• How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.


• Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work!


• What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner.


• Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!


• What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.


• How do you organize a space party? You planet.


• Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.


• How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.


• Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.


• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.


• Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.


• What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.


• Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.


• How do cows stay up to date? They read the moos-paper.


• Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.


• What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!


• Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? Because it was a cheetah.


• Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels.

Nigger Jokes

• How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for fresh prints.


• What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.


• What happens when a snowman throws a tantrum? He has a meltdown.


• Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.


• Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.


• How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.


• What did the grape do when he got stepped on? Nothing but let out a little wine!


• Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything.


• How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

Mom Jokes For Kids 

• Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.


• Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field.


• Why was the math book unhappy? Because it had too many problems.


• Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.


• What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.


• How does a dinosaur pay its bills? With Tyrannosaurus checks.


• Why was the broom late? It swept in.

Friday Jokes For Work 

• Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.


• What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.


• How do you catch a squirrel? Climb into a tree and act like a nut.


• Why did the dad bring an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case he got a hole in one.


• What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.


• Why was the stadium so cold? Because it was full of fans.


• How do you catch a whole school of fish? With bookworms.