Dad Corny Jokes

           Dad Corny Jokes 

¤ Why did the man get hit by a bike every day?
He was stuck in a vicious cycle.

¤ What did the bartender say to the turkey sandwich when it tried to order a beer?
“Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

¤ Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.

¤ What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment.

¤ Why do people say “break a leg” when you go on stage?

Because every play has a cast.

¤ What do you call an alligator detective?
An investi-gator.

¤ What kind of ghost has the best hearing?
The eeriest.

          Morning Corny jokes 

¤ How did the dead brother and his dead brother resemble each other?
They were dead ringers.

¤ Why are there gates around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.

¤ Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pen?
Because it’s pointless.

             Christmas Jokes

¤ Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.

¤ Where can you buy soup in bulk?
The stock market.

¤ If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get?
Mistle-toes.

¤ What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.

¤ What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her?
Namaste.

¤ What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.

            Corny Jokes For work 

¤ Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.

¤ What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.

¤ Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.

¤ What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

¤ Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks? In case he got a hole in one.

¤ What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.

¤ Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.

¤ What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.

¤ Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.

             Corny Jokes For her 

¤ What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.

¤ Why did the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.

¤ What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.

¤ Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field.

¤ What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

¤ Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

¤ What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.

¤ Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

¤ What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory.

¤ Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.

¤ What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

¤ Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field.

           Corny Jokes For him

¤ What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.

¤ Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.

¤ What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.

¤ Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.

¤ What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

¤ Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks? In case he got a hole in one.

¤ What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.

¤ Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.

¤ What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.

¤ Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

¤ Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

¤ Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.

¤ What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.

¤ Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.

¤ What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.

¤ Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

             Funny Corny Jokes 

¤ What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

¤ Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.

¤ What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

¤ Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.

¤ What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.

¤ Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

¤ What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.

 ¤ Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

¤ What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory.

¤ Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.

¤ What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

¤ Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field.